Sunday, June 6, 2021

Wickedly Delicious b1 chapter 4

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Chapter 4

In addition to the novel this book has a coloring pages in the back for the ultimate cozy experiance. Find it on Amazon

It was far colder the next morning. The rain was still coming down in large (but slow) droplets that smacked into the muddy ground. Had my boots not been enchanted to keep from sticking, they would have been nearly impossible to slog through that thick mud. 

I’d enchanted the pink umbrella to stay above me on its own, freeing my chilly hands to hide in my pockets, with the basket tucked into the crook of my arm. Noreen had opted to ride inside a giant pocket on the front of my robes, like a baby kangaroo. I couldn’t really blame her; if I’d had the option to curl up out of the damp, I also would have done so. The cold sucked the energy right out of me, and after last night, I was tired to begin with. I let out a loud yawn. 

“After a party like last night’s, the world seems a bit drab,” Noreen said. “Back when the Saxons still ruled Wiltshire, we celebrated every single night.”

“Sounds exhausting,” I said. “Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time, but it seems like it would get monotonous after a while.” 

“Fairies don’t get bored of repetition like humans do. It comes from naturally living thousands of years,” Noreen said.

“One party was enough for me to need a midday nap to recover,” I said, “so I think I’m good on that front.” 

Larkin was waiting under the tree with a forked trunk at the edge of the pixie’s moorlands. I must admit I was somewhat disappointed that he’d beaten me here. I had planned to tease him about not finding a giant forked trunk tree, but now he had the upper hand— just my luck.

“Lord Larkin!” Noreen squeaked.

“Good morning, Lady Noreen. I trust you are well today.”

“Just Noreen, let’s not tie our tongues up with all those titles when we’re not in public,” Noreen said. 

“Ready to meet the locals?” I asked, trusting that the greetings were complete.

“If Noreen is ready, then I am,” Larkin said with a wink.

“I’m always ready,” Noreen said in her normal voice this time. “This way.” 

 She trotted along the path into her home territory, much surer of herself here than in Fareesee territory. Larkin motioned for me to go ahead, and we did a little dance of indecision for a moment until I gave in and let Larkin come last. Usually, a guest in Pixieland would go in between his guides, but Larkin was an errant and could supposedly look out for himself. 

“Who would sneak up behind an errant? Perhaps a suspicious Badger Pixie, a fox, or a grumpy bear…” Larken trailed off.

“Um, Larkin, you might want to watch your back. You aren’t known in Wiltshire, and you know the Fey, they can be a bit suspicious of new people. I wouldn’t want someone to sneak up and befuddle your mind, or worse, put a hex on you,” I said.

Larkin nodded seriously, his eyes alert. I felt a little foolish for having said anything. It wasn’t like when I’d shown my little sister and brother around.  He was a trained Errant who’d gone after the largest troll in England’s history, after all. He didn’t need my advice.

But when he spoke, it wasn’t to tease me. “Thanks for the advice. It’s easy to forget there are dangers in such an idyllic countryside.”

I smiled at him and felt a bit better. He had gotten much nicer as he aged. In school, he would have dressed me downright quick for a statement like that. It was one of his faults. If he felt criticized, he could have a hot temper. While he may still have it, he wasn’t using it on me today.

Our first stop was at the den of a pixie, who had appeared today as a rabbit, perhaps as part of an irony, given how many children she had poking their noses out into the rain from the den. She shooed them back into her home and turned to me.

“I don’t have payment today, Winifred,” she said. “Rooster didn’t come home last night, and he was bringing me the herbs.” Tears filled her eyes.

“This wouldn’t be the first time Rooster went astray, Arrie. Don’t worry, he’ll be back. And you can pay me when you’re able.” 

I sorted through the packages and handed her the one with her name.

She touched my arm and smiled through her tears. “Thank you,” she said.

“Arrie, I want to introduce you to our newest Knight Errant,” I said. “Knight Larkin, this is Arrie.”

Larkin stepped forward and offered Arrie a bow of the head, which Arrie returned.

“Knight Larkin,” she said, “I’m happy to know you. Reeve Humphry has had his work cut out for him, so I’m hopeful you’ll be an asset to him and to our safety, especially now with Spriggans out and about.”

“Spriggans?” Larkin asked.

“Mrs. B.’s cats have been acting up. They’re pretty sure it’s something like that,” she said. Apparently, Mrs. B. had been spreading her suspicions everywhere. “Normally I wouldn’t put much stock in what she or her cats have to say, but that Ettin Wymond is clearly increasing his guard. It’s like he’s raising an army, so he knows something is up as well, I’m sure. But you seem the type who can keep us safe.”

“Thank you, Ms. Arrie. And I hope you will feel free to call on me if you ever need help with anything,” Larkin replied.

“Thank you, Sir Larkin,” Arrie dropped into a half curtsy.

Larkin laughed. “It’s just Larkin, and there is no need to curtsy to me,” he said. “I’m just a plain wizard, no higher on the social rank than you.”

I didn’t believe this was strictly true. Just becoming a Knight Errant raised your social status, and I’m pretty sure that something he’d done impressed my grandfather, such as the troll he defeated, which probably got him a Lordship of some sort. Certainly that would justify a “Sir” in front of his name if he chose. 

But that wasn’t Larkin. He didn’t feel the need to elevate himself above others and scoffed at those who did, which made me wonder how he really felt about Reeve Humphry.

We left Arrie and made our way along my route. I introduced Larkin to a Pixie who preferred to take the form of a Toad, Badger, and Otter before making our way to see Mrs. Bakelsdale and her many cats. She rubbed her hands in glee when I introduced Larkin.

“The new Knight Errant! How fortunate am I to meet you on your first day out and about!”

“The fortune is all mine,” Larkin said with a charming bow and a kiss of the hand.

Mrs. B. beamed at him. “You seem dashing for a knight. I bet you can grow a hundred feet, like King Arthur. It’s an image that warms my heart to imagine! Can you?”

Larkin glanced at the low ceiling. He was already crouched to fit in Mrs. B.’s living room as it was, a fact that he mentioned.

“Just a little. With the Spriggans around, it’ll be nice to know that we have a knight who can match their size.”

 Larkin looked at me and I nodded. Mrs. B. would talk a lot about him the moment we were gone, so we might as well ensure that what she said was positive. 

He sat down and started to grow, doubling in size before he stopped. Mrs. B. clapped her hands together. 

“So lovely. It’s nice to have another dashing knight in our region, and even better that you are friends with our Lady Gaveston.”

I suppressed an eyeroll and handed Mrs. B.’s umbrella back to her.

“Thank you for the use of your umbrella,” I said, rummaging in my basket for her scones. “It came in very handy, although I almost hit Sir Humphry with it when he startled me. That would have been the wrong thing to do, times ten. Luckily, I suppressed my instincts just in time.”

Mrs. B. cackled loudly. You’d think I had just told her the funniest thing ever, which it was not.

“Would have served him right if you had beaned him,” she said. “He has no business sneaking up on law-abiding folk that way. I would have gladly sacrificed my umbrella to the cause.”

“He’s worried I might have taken after my grandfather,” I said. “So, he keeps a closer eye on me than most.”

“Your grandfather is a wily old coot, but he’s rescued many families from hard times. Reeve Humphry may be picking on you because he doesn’t dare harass your grandfather as much as he used to. Lots of folks around here would be angry with Humphry if he pulled in Sir Elric for too long. He might not be able to quell the uprising.”

I cocked an eyebrow. I’d known my grandfather was well liked in some circles, especially among the Fareesee, but I hadn’t heard anyone mention that an uprising could be sparked if he were arrested. 

She turned and narrowed her eyes at Larkin. “See you don’t go looking too deeply into Winifred’s family, young man. Many of us are beholden not only to her father but to her mother’s clan, and there is far more at stake than a few taxes and illegal goods smuggled.”

“No need to worry, Mrs. Bakelsdale,” he said. “I have bigger fish to fry. And Winifred is one of my closest friends, her family is safe from me.”

“Call me Mrs. B.,” Mrs. Bakelsdale said. “Everyone does. And I heard that you spent the entire ball with Winifred. Some people wondered if it was wise of you to spend so much time with one person in a new community.” 

Her eyes crinkled at the corners, and I could tell she was trying to suppress a laugh.

“Winifred was introducing me to the guests,” Larkin said, smiling back at Mrs. B. “It made sense to stick to a friend who knew all the people in the room.”

“And if she’s an attractive young thing, all the better, eh?” Mrs. B. did laugh this time, slapping her thigh and taking in big gulps of air. “There’s no point trying to hide it, Errant Larkin. You won’t be able to keep any secrets on Hackpen Hill.”

We said our goodbyes to Mrs. B. and came to the mundane road on our own. There was a police car parked on the edge of the road blocking the path, so we made our way around it warily. We stepped lightly as we made our way down the track, but it was evident that we weren’t going to easily avoid the pair of police who were blocking our path.

I could have pulled out my spear and flown both Larkin and myself over the place where they were swarming. We probably could have kept up the spell to stay unnoticed long enough, and maybe that would have been more prudent, but alarm bells were sounding in my head, and I wanted to see what had brought them here in the first place.

“I want to see what’s going on,” I whispered to Larkin as I lowered my basket for Noreen to climb in.

He didn’t speak but nodded once in agreement, and we walked around the bend in the path as unobtrusively as we could. I wanted to get as close as possible before they noticed us, but making us invisible and then popping up in their midst was not advisable. 

Not many people realized they coexisted with the Fey, and we wanted to keep it that way. “No big surprises” was a big part of that. I needed to be as unremarkable as humanly possible, and as “witchly” possible, to borrow the phrase.

“Heart attack, fell and hit his head on a rock,” pronounced one of the officers, a woman in her early thirties.

“I don’t see any signs of foul play,” said the other, “but there will need to be an autopsy. Let’s get him tagged and bagged once the coroner arrives.”

One of the policemen moved, allowing me to see what was on the ground. I gasped, my mouth making a startled “O” shape when I saw him. 

Reeve Humphry was laying in the mud, staring up at the falling rain. I’d never come across a dead body before. I felt strangely numb, like the effects of a spell that a medical witch casts on your mouth before they do dental work.

Without thinking, I jumped forward to try to help call Reeve’s spirit back to his body. My grandmother had told me that dead didn’t always mean “dead.” There were spells, not well-known, that could pull a person’s spirit back to their body if it still lingered. 

Larkin put his hand gently on my shoulder. “He’s gone, Winifred. His spirit has already moved on.”

I looked back at Humphry. Errants could talk to ghosts and sense them; it was one of the best ways to solve crimes. If he said the ghost was gone, then it clearly was. I shuddered. My stomach felt raw, like it had been punched. I never would have imagined I’d have such a visceral reaction to seeing the ol’ Reeve dead like this. 

“They’re contaminating the scene,” I said in disbelief, watching the pair of officers strolling about, doing their best to look for clues. 

What they didn’t know was that this was likely a magical attack, something they’d never be able to comprehend. Their own auras could mix with any residual magic that had been left behind. 

Larkin let me go and frowned. This investigation was to be conducted by deputies, and with the head reeve now dead, Larkin would be in charge of them, at least temporarily. Only they would understand how to trace magic well enough to get any information from the crime scene.

“We’re going to need to lead them away, to a changeling,” he said.

“Noreen, do you think you could lead them away?” I asked.

The Pixie nodded. Befuddling people’s minds was what Pixies were best at. Thanks to Pixie shenanigans, many who thought they’d just been puttering around their kitchen had found themselves in deep forests, or those who were exploring the deep woods had found themselves wandering a circle in their garden. 

Noreen pranced into the bushes near the pair of police, who stood talking and apparently certain this had to be a heart attack. A wispy light appeared above Noreen. The policemen’s faces went blank for a moment, letting me know that Noreen had ensnared their minds. They wandered away from Humphry’s body and down the road, following Noreen and the wispy light she’d created. As far as they knew, they were still combing the area around the body. 

“I think the margot would help with the changeling,” I said. Wizards might have far flashier spells, like the one allowing them to grow into giants or summon each other, but witches received magical aid from fairies. In that sense, we were like Pokemon masters of the magical world. 

I called on the margot with a spell song, and she whispered back to me from the thicket of trees. She still wasn’t willing to show herself. 

“I need a changeling of Sir Humphry,” I told her. “Noreen is leading the mundane police down that way,” I pointed with my chin. “They know there’s a body, so we need to have them bring a decoy back to their base. One that looks like it had a heart attack.”

The margot whispered that it would be taken care of and I gave a small sigh of relief. I shuddered once more at the sight of Humphry’s body just feet from where I was standing. 

Larkin pulled out his passé broom and hovered a few feet off the ground to examine the scene. He flew around the body slowly, attempting to detect any out-of-place magic or residual energy left by others. 

Unfortunately, the mundane police officers had trampled areas that should have been left untouched. Larkin could have read the energy signs of the murderer, but they were likely obscured now with all the other footprints.

Larkin flew up, away from Humphry. “I’m going to summon the deputies now,” he said. He cupped his hands, muttered a spell, and an orb of light appeared between them. Then he spoke loudly, “Disseminate!” 

He opened his hands, and light scattered to all the points of the compass, like shooting stars. The ability to summon others to their side was exactly why wizards made the best Errants and Reeves. 

“You were always a showoff,” I said. “Such dramatic spell work.”

He grinned. “You know what they say if you’ve got it…” 

Suddenly, his face fell. “Seriously, Winifred, you should go. The other deputies will suspect you on instinct.”

“You’re going to need my help questioning the Fey in the area. This event will send them into a panic. You’ll be lucky if any of them stay close by, but they certainly won’t open their doors for just anyone.”

He frowned. “The deputies will be here any minute now.”

My heart did a frog hop. The deputies who’d always been so cold to me were going to be furious and in deep despair when they found out what happened. That anger would indeed likely land heavily on me, fair or not. 

  “You’ll find me at Mrs. B’s,” I told him in a whisper. “After I get Noreen.”

“Careful what you say in front of her. I’d like to keep a tight lid on this news if I can,” he remarked.

“If there are any witnesses, we’d know soon. Her gossip circles might be a good place to start,” I said.

Reluctantly, he nodded. We clasped hands briefly before I turned and made my way towards Noreen. With any luck, I’d soon catch up with her. My head was spinning, and I needed someone to talk to.

I had both my wand and sword out at the ready as I walked. You never knew who could be listening out in the world. 

Pixies and Fareesee were very good at hiding, and some could even make themselves invisible. I once walked right into a bogle who was practicing her stalking skills, following me through the forest. When I realized I’d forgotten to give one of my clients their order, I turned quickly and ended up flat on my back while the bogle laughed hysterically. My only consolation was that she’d been unable to maintain her invisibility and had been knocked flat on her back as well. They couldn’t hurt anyone while invisible, though; the best they could do was get bumped into. 

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In addition to the novel this book has a coloring pages in the back for the ultimate cozy experiance. Find it on Amazon



 








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